George A. Sprecace M.D., J.D., F.A.C.P. and Allergy Associates of New London, P.C.
www.asthma-drsprecace.com


Abbott & Costello on Computers

COSTELLO CALLS TO BUY A COMPUTER FROM ABBOTT

ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store.  Can I help you?


COSTELLO: Thanks. I'm setting up an office in my den and I'm thinking

about buying a computer.


ABBOTT: Mac?


COSTELLO: No, the name's Lou.


ABBOTT: Your computer?


COSTELLO: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.


ABBOTT : Mac?


COSTELLO: I told you, my name's Lou.


ABBOTT: What about Windows?


COSTELLO: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?


ABBOTT: Do you want a computer with Windows?


COSTELLO: I don't know. What will I see when I look at the windows?


ABBOTT: Wallpaper.


COSTELLO: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.


ABBOTT: Software for Windows?


COSTELLO: No. On the computer! I need something I can use to write proposals, track expenses and run my business. What do you have?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yeah, for my office. Can you recommend anything?


ABBOTT: I just did.


COSTELLO: You just did what?


ABBOTT: Recommend something.


COSTELLO: You recommended something?


ABBOTT: Yes.


COSTELLO: For my office?


ABBOTT: Yes


COSTELLO: OK, what did you recommend for my office?


ABBOTT: Office.


COSTELLO: Yes, for my office!


ABBOTT: I recommend Office with Window's.


COSTELLO: I already have an office with windows! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?


ABBOTT: Word.


COSTELLO: What word?


ABBOTT: Word in Office.


COSTELLO: The only word in office is office.


ABBOTT: The Word in Office for Windows.


COSTELLO: Which word in office for windows?


ABBOTT: The Word you get when you click the blue 'W'.


COSTELLO: I'm going to click your blue 'w' if you don't start with some straight answers. What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: That's right What do you have?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: I need money to track my money?


ABBOTT: It comes bundled with your computer.


COSTELLO: What's bundled with my computer?


ABBOTT: Money.


COSTELLO: Money comes with my computer?


ABBOTT: Yes. No extra charge.


COSTELLO: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?


ABBOTT: One copy.


COSTELLO: Isn't it illegal to copy money?


ABBOTT: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.


COSTELLO: They can give you a license to copy money?


ABBOTT: Why not? THEY OWN IT!


(A few days later)


ABBOTT: Super Duper computer store. Can I help you?


COSTELLO: How do I turn my computer off?


ABBOTT: Click on 'START'



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